Almost Worthless: Little Ghost

I've intended every Almost Worthless review since The Mind Snatchers to be my last, but I can't seem to quit it. It's not exactly about the Hub itself as it is the YouTube page. The feedback has been great. However, unless I share my own thoughts on the videos, I don't feel like I'm contributing anything to justify uploads of videos that I didn't create. And since the children's videos are doing the best and Rocky Jones ended up being a lot less interesting than I'd anticipated, I'm starting fresh with a new DVD. I should also mention that I now live in an area where Dollar Tree dominates the dollar store market and I have yet to find a mom-and-pop 99-cent place or even a Just a Buck, which usually have better movie selections. Nonetheless, here is Little Ghost, a 1996 movie directed by Linda Shayne.

Usually, I review the first 10 minutes of each movie, but nothing really happens in the first 10 minutes of this one. Things actually start to get interesting in the second 10 minutes. So far, the plot is about a boy named Kevin who is forced to move into a haunted castle with his bimbo mom Christine, her spiritual advisor, and Christine's guido boyfriend Tony. Tony and Christine's plan is to turn the castle into a spa. Kevin is unhappy because not only does he hate Tony, but he's stuck in Slovenia with no friends and no access to fast food.

There are several aspects of this movie that I can only mention once or else this review will go on forever: the telenovela-esque production values, the historical inaccuracies, the generic Slovenian culture, and the accents. I do want to point out the fact that in kids' movies where rich people are greedy villains, the kids themselves always live comfortably in gorgeous houses. In this case, they even use the castle's presumably priceless antique furniture.

Contrary to Kevin's opinion, Tony proves himself to be quite a catch. His construction methods are brilliant. Just get some villagers, have them jog with with shovels into a field, and start digging. No bulldozers or dump trucks needed. No contractors. Just dig away.

Of course, we are also introduced to Sofia, a ghost girl who is eternally Kevin's age. She claims to have superpowers akin to Storm's in X-Men and wants nothing more than to scare him. Kevin, however, is more afraid of the vacuum cleaner than he is of the paramonal. He could use a friend, though, especially since his mom and Tony care so little about him that they actually give him a birthday present he already has. Luckily, Pavel, the butler and probable future love interest for Christine, is kind enough to give this 12-year old boy a sword. Now Kevin can kill Tony and they'll all live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, it's not that simple. Instead of going the Hamlet route, Kevin decides that the best way to eliminate Tony is with the help of Sofia. Sofia agrees to lend her supernatural powers if Kevin will use whatever skills he has to help her get her castle back. The result is a combination of Casper and The Parent Trap. The plot is alternately stupid and confusing and the adult actors are stiff as boards. And yet, it is still a watchable movie. This is solely because of Kevin and Sofia. The kids aren't spectacular actors individually, but they work so well together that it keeps Little Ghost from being a complete waste of time. As for the rest of it, well, kids would like the silly gags and not notice the plot holes. The movie's meant to entertain kids anyway. It's worth a dollar if you just need something to occupy a child's time for 87 minutes.